There’s an alarming trend on the rise among teenage dolphins thanks to a new substance on the ocean market that’s cheap and easy to get. Pufferfish, or more specifically, the toxins that they emit as a self-defense mechanism when under attack, are the drug of choice for young dolphins looking to expand their pea-sized minds.
It seems that dolphins have figured out that the puffer toxin isn’t lethal enough to kill them, but instead gets them crazy high in small doses. A BBC documentary came across the phenomena while filming rebellious group of young dolphins hitting a pufferfish and passing it around to one another. After getting their fix they let the puffer go and float around like they’re at a Phish show until curfew. Then they presumably hit the Visine and head home to mom and dad who totally don’t understand them. Laugh all you want, but first it’s pufferfish, next thing you know you’re turning (ring) tricks at Sea World to pay for your seaweed habit.
Watch the video, it’s even better with a dead-serious British narrator giving the play-by-play.