The FA Cup is the equivalent of the Indiana State High School Basketball Tournament that gave us Hoosiers. It’s open to all domestic English football clubs from the Premier League down to Level 10, which is basically just hooligans kicking around beer bottles.
Needless to say, a 5th division team like Sutton United, F.C. isn’t going to field the same caliber of athlete as Man U. Exhibit A is Sutton’s 45-year old, overweight goalkeeper coach and back-up goalkeeper, Wayne Shaw.
With Sutton trailing 2-0 in their FA match against Premier League fixture Arsenal today, Shaw thought it was the perfect time to smash a gigantic meat pie on the sidelines. This isn’t encouraged in the Premier League, but Shaw DGAF.
His best goalkeeping days may be behind him, but he just became the internet’s favorite soccer player. I’d bet 100 pounds Wayne-O crushed more than one Guinness after the contest. It’s not his first rodeo.
The announcer tidily summed up the situation with precise English commentary, “Safe to say, whatever happens, he won’t be coming on.”
Wayne Shaw y’all: