Today in his opening rant, Colin discussed a very serious topic. Three-coli. Three-coli causes teams to become overly dependent on the three-point shot in an attempt to copy the Golden State Warriors’ style of play. The epidemic has rapidly spread throughout the NBA, and it’s making the game extremely boring.
Most recently, the Cleveland Cavs have been afflicted. In a desperate attempt to copy the Warriors, they launched 82 threes in losing Games 3 and 4 of the Eastern Conference Finals to the Raptors. It’s unknown if their case of Three-coli is terminal. Game 5 is tonight.
For NBA fans to determine if their team has Three-coli, they must first know the symptoms:
- Vomiting three point shots
- Outlandish shot selection
- Elimination of all big men in the NBA
In a groundbreaking development this week, Dr. William Donovan, Head Coach for the Oklahoma City Thunder, has found the cure for Three-Coli:
- Mature superstars in their prime
Dr. Donovan has used the cure to lead the Thunder to a 3 -1 advantage over the Warriors in the Western Conference Finals. If they can eliminate the Warriors, it will give new hope to all NBA fans who long for the return of their favorite Power Forward or Center. These positions have been rendered obsolete by excessive three-point shooting.
Orlando Magic Head Coach Frank Vogel joined Colin today to discuss the dangers of Three-coli.
“I think you have to play to your strengths. I think you can win big. Or play big and still win. I think you can build an arsenal of three point shooters and win that way. I think what you have to be cautious of is trying to be something that you’re not.”
Although it is unlikely that Dr. Donovan will win a Nobel Prize for his groundbreaking work, it appears he may win an NBA championship.