Sports fans are sort of like people. Most are reasonable with some perspective on the importance of their sports team in the overall context of their lives. On the flip side, some have a Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction relationship with their teams and will boil your pet rabbit if you don’t like their starting quarterback.
Fans supporting their favorite teams is commendable, but certain types of sports fans are reprehensible. Whether it’s just being generally annoying, a desperate attention seeker, or shameless, don’t be like these 5 types of sports fans.
1. Violent Fan – What would make someone get so mad from the outcome of a sporting event that they would want to Hulk up and throw down? Whatever the reason, it happens all the time. NFL fans stay fighting, and anywhere. Parking lot. Bathroom. Stands. Chargers games are like a UFC under card.
International football hooligans make violent NFL fans look aspirational. The most recent example of hooliganism gone wild was at Euro 2016, where firms of Russian hooligans terrorized the streets of France, resulting in arrests and deportation. Smart move to record it on GoPro, comrades. Looks like great family fun.
2. Warriors bandwagon fan – You’re the worst. You know who you are. When you’re street cred for being a Warriors fan is that you were there before they signed KD, just stop. Being a fan for a record breaking 73 win season that ended in a Finals loss isn’t die hard. Nothing about it is hard.
Also, not cool that you lead the league in tech billionaires wearing t-shirts over button down dress shirts. Nice look. If you’re a Chris Gatling guy, or know who Todd Fuller is, you’re probably not a bad person, or at least have a conscience.
3. On his cell phone the whole time at the game fan – You paid $400 for box seats at the game and can’t take your eyes off your phone. What’s the point? You also could have driven down the freeway lighting $100 bills on fire and throwing them out the sunroof. That would also be hard to do because you’d still be on your phone.
Also, a PSA for you kids, if your dad takes you to a game, keep your head on a swivel Junior. Like this kid, who got saved from a guaranteed broken face by his dad. Bring a glove to the ballpark, not a tablet, and catch ’em all.
— Heather Mills (@NewsieHeather) March 8, 2016
4. The “famous fan” from a team – Pass me the bleach and the beer bong, I can’t handle these types. The signature fan who always gets on camera is the worst. Whether it’s “Marlins Guy”, “Fireman Ed”, or the Ohio State “Big Nut”, these fame obsessed fans have found a way to carve out 5 seconds of airtime at every home game as the cameraman gets a crowd shot.
The only catch is you have to leave your self respect at the door and have an over-inflated sense of your own celebrity and importance to the team. But you get to be on TV! Here’s a homework assignment, try to think of something else to say other than shaking your finger at the camera and shouting, “We’re Number One!”
5. Way too hammered at the game fan – They told him the tailgate started at 9 so he started chugging firewater at 7. He was the life of the party until about 30 minutes before kickoff, then he needed assistant care inside the stadium. He can probably be found passed out in a bathroom stall or fast asleep in his seat. Don’t worry though, if you wake him out of his alcohol induced coma, he slurs “I’m fine!” every time. Nothing is worse than babysitting. If he starts talking trash you could end up trying to talk your way out of a fistfight with (See #1).